“Music is a piece of art that goes in the ears, straight to the heart.”
The Melody
I don’t know about you, but for me, when certain songs start playing… my body goes into a vibe. Start dancing without thinking, like my body is moving on its own. Music is intrinsically linked to various romantic times/moments. Marriages, school dances, engagement moments, breakups, being intimate. There are so many scenarios or situations where I’m sure you can think of a moment and remember a song playing at the moment, which also helps you remember them.
Some days music defines us. When they say music is food for the soul, I can attest to that statement. So many unique sounds/melodies in the world can make you certain feelings depending on the mood. We got music that can make you dance till the next morning or even help you relax. The spectrum is so massive; it’s like they all have their own language to express.
Music provides multiples way of connecting with your partner on another level. It can express how you feel without using words, connecting with each other mentally becomes easier & knowing each other’s musical background gives you an insight on how their personality might be.
So how can your partner’s music taste play a role in a relationship? Let’s talk about it.
Non-Vocal Expression
Music helps us feel understood, an expression of ourselves without using words. This is why the majority of the time, we place it with such a high standard when choosing/selecting our potential significant other. Generally, we feel that if they can’t relate to the music, they will have a bit of a harder time understanding us & where you are coming from.
Even as children, music was a vital piece of their development when it came to their emotions. Children sometimes have difficulty expressing their feelings since they don’t know the word/term. Emotions like Irritation, uneasiness and shyness are difficult words for children to say. So at an early stage, they express it through actions such as throwing temper tantrums and crying.
Parents are about to understand what I will say for the next few sentences. Musically influenced parents tend to play music for their child while he/she is still in the womb. The genre usually played is classical music, gentle or soft sounds like lullabies & nice melodies that motivate happiness. As these sounds can be soothing, the energy it gives out is calm.
A good example of how music motivates happiness is the interaction between the child and a tv show. When we sing along to the song on the show with the child, we see the child happy. The frequency/vibes you give out are very light and warm. As babies can feel our energy and see you happy, it encourages them to be as well. So like how they communicate with us through action/sound, we do the same to them as well. So while sound/music gives them happiness, it also gives security.
Have you ever had a moment where you don’t know what you are feeling? Then you put on a specific song and started to think more clearly? Can’t describe your mood, but a particular song expresses what you feel? Especially the lyrics? Sometimes the right words don’t come to mind. Generally, we struggle to express ourselves with words whenever we feel sad. Playing certain types of music can give your partner an idea of how you feel. If that is the case, they can act accordingly and help you with the situation.
How Music Eases Chemistry
Most people prefer someone willing to listen to their music, explore new artists together or go to a concert. It’s a certain way of life for plenty, and if your partner is someone who doesn’t enjoy music (let alone the same music taste) in the same way, this could lead to distancing in connecting. On the other hand, music has such an inspirational impact that it could lead to great conversations expressing different periods in life. So when explaining your feelings to someone with similar tastes, it’s easier to understand where you are coming from.
A licensed psychotherapist stated a quote which I feel is pretty accurate. He said, “When music is your north star, finding someone whose passion for music aligns with yours can be essential, especially in a potential relationship’s nascent stages.” Generally, at the beginning of a relationship, there’s hesitation regarding comfortability. We get nervous that we possibly might be unattractive (characteristically). But, like how they say, “a picture is worth a thousand words,” you can portray music similarly. It’s another language we use to explain our feelings to someone.
We already know that music is very influential. We see it through people’s personalities and attitudes towards life, all the way down to how you dress daily. I remember dating this woman. She was very open-minded, outspoken, and always in the mood to dance (a bit of an attitude, though). Her favourite music genre was dancehall. We know dancehall music to be uplifting, loud & likes to put you in a trance where you want to move your body. Musical preferences and the sentiments they inspire usually have direct connections to someone’s personality. The majority of people use music as their primary source of regulating their emotions. This tends to make you react a certain way in specific situations.
Since music tends to make you act a certain way in specific situations, it also means you interact with people differently. When it comes to altercations, people who tend to listen to softer music (jazz, R&B) have a softer approach to the situation. Compared to someone who listens to heavier music (heavy metal, rock) and will have a more expressive and loud approach. You can determine someone’s taste for a genre by multiple factors. Such as where they grew up, their socioeconomic class and the persona they want to portray to the world.
Nostalgic Music Vibes
Remember when you went to a party or club, and a specific song came on, and you started vibe like crazy? Then on top of that, someone random person comes in and joins you. You both start to get hype and sing the lyrics together. By the night’s end, you two start chatting and become friends? That’s the power of music. As stated earlier, we see that even in the toddler stage, music plays an important role in our development. Your best and hardest moments are defined by the music you listened to during those dark or most triumphant times.
A different relationship is formed when meeting people who love the same type of tunes, especially for songs that were made in the past. Not because of the love of the song, but when you learn about the person’s history, you’ll start to see similarities with your own. As people, we usually fear the unknown and avoid things we don’t understand. However, we feel more comfortable and in control when we encounter something familiar.
Now let’s talk about human interaction. When we meet someone with a similar nostalgic taste, the bond feels stronger because you feel you can relate to the person more. When they speak about certain circumstances and actions, you can establish a certain understanding. The reasoning behind the actions will make more sense to you than to someone with a different musical background. Imagine someone with a hip-hop background trying to understand someone with a classical background. Playing someone’s favourite song affects different parts of the brain. This means memories linked with music are emotional memories that never fade out.
Importantly, how does this have anything to do with your partner or potential partner? First, understanding where your partner is coming from is important. In relationships, a partner wants to feel understood. As I stated earlier, music has a language of its own. I’m sure when you try to speak to someone who is speaking a different language, you have no idea what they are saying. Then both sides become frustrated because you can’t understand each other.
What I’m trying to say is that there is an advantage to having similar music tastes. More specifically songs that give you nostalgic feels. There’s already a mental connection since you both are on the same musical frequency. l believe Leila Sales said it best. She said, “I believe that a person’s taste in music tells you a lot about them. In some cases, it tells you everything you need to know.”
Conclusion
“Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words.”
How does any of this relate to your relationship/potential relationship? Well, it’s pretty essential if you are dating someone not only for their looks. Like I said in my previous paragraph, everyone handles situations and altercations differently. The type of music they listen to also influences how they would react to the situation as well. As I have said in a previous blog (it’s about compromising, definitely check it out), being able to compromise with your partner is more critical than most people think.
I’m not saying for you to avoid people who listen to heavier music. Just potentially, they could be more combative in an argument. However, you have to consider it since music affects our brains/moods in numerous ways. Music helps us feel understood, an expression of ourselves without using words.
Chemistry, as we both know, is very vital in a relationship. When you have similarities with your partner, the level of comfortability is stronger. Especially when you compare it to someone who isn’t relatable. In our minds, being relatable is more attractive. Solely, because the values and interests will align. Let’s be honest, what isn’t more fun than bumping tracks that you and your significant other enjoy listening to? While you two are cruising on a road trip when the sun is nice and high. Both singing to the top of your lungs with the windows down. It’s an experience I’m sure we all want to have one day.
When it comes to nostalgic music, it’s a different type of connection. Similar to my previous point, but the connection is deeper. There’s a history behind the beats and lyrics of that song. It’ll make you reflect on memories or situations you experienced while listening to that song. Let’s take a moment right now to think of a nostalgic song you love. I’m confident you can think of numerous occasions when you heard that song. Now imagine meeting someone who also likes it. They will have their own story, too & possibly how much it means to them. A shared love for the same type of vibes is an attractive trait in a partner.
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