Introduction
“The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.”
– Alexandra Penney
Is respect really that important? To some people, it’s not; to some people, they think of it highly. I like to say everyone’s version of love is different because of our moral values, upbringing and experiences. If someone has been exposed to toxic relationships for the majority of their life, they’ll view specific values as healthy. An example would be guilt-tripping. Since they were hurt, making someone feel bad for their actions would seem warranted since they hurt you.
It’s why I firmly believe in having two parents in the household. They can show you what a healthy relationship should look like and what you should tolerate. Well, you know, as long as the parent’s relationship is healthy too. Just like being in multiple toxic relationships, if your parents are in one as well, you’ll take specific attributes from them as well. However, we will discuss that one more in detail in a later post.
Let’s look at four major ways why having respect for one another is important in a relationship.
Communication During Arguments
By now, you are probably like, “This guy keeps preaching about the tone of my voice while communicating.” Through not only my experiences but friends as well, your tone is a vital piece in communicating with one another. Expressing how you feel directly, calmly and respectfully creates healthy communication through positive and negative times.
By doing this, it’ll help your partner become a better listener and gain the ability to understand your viewpoint better. Not only does it help your partner understand you better, but it’ll also want them to become more engaged with you. Since they know you’ll show respect, they’ll want to listen. So in arguments, they’ll know you are not coming with hostile energy.
Let’s be honest; we don’t want to deal with that. We want to be in peace. Life already throws many things your way; the last thing you need is your partner to add to the pressure. They are supposed to be your peace and serenity when life gets to you.
Different Mindsets
When we enter relationships, we try to find people who like to do similar things. Hobbies like reading, working out, camping, and the list can go on. What do we do when we meet someone we like but they have a different lifestyle? Usually, people who live a different lifestyle than yourself will have a different view of life than you.
Is this a bad thing? Of course not. If you like this person, there’s obviously an energy that’s there you enjoy being around. Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you like this person, you have a level of respect for them. You’ll never meet someone who will agree with you on everything. It’s not your job to change a person.
Our job, if anything, is to understand where they are coming from. Respect their beliefs and choices because that made them who they are today. If you like them, you owe it to them to explain their reasoning. Neither of you should be controlling each other’s choices and beliefs.
Boundaries
We all know the honeymoon stage, where we want to spend as much time as possible with our new partner. Get to know them and become intrigued with their every word. It’s natural to feel this way because it’s something new to us. It always feels good to feel wanted by someone that you want. Is it healthy to always want to see your partner? Well.. yes and no. Let me explain.
It’s a good thing that you want to see your partner. However, it becomes bad when it starts to impact their life. When we enter someone’s life, we are supposed to help them grow into the best version of themselves. If you start taking time away from their friends & family, it’ll become unhealthy for your partner.
Their relationship with their friends & family will start to deteriorate because they will feel neglected. People who possibly encouraged your partner to be with you in the first place. It’s okay to spend time alone or with friends and family. It means there’s a healthy balance, and you two can still grow as individuals. By doing this as well, it will show that you trust your partner and vice versa.
Easier To Be Reciprocated
Nothing beats encouraging words from your partner. In a relationship, having respect can make or break one’s confidence. Having your friends cheer you on is one thing, but when your partner is on your side, too, it makes it more motivating. Who wouldn’t want their partner to encourage them to go that extra mile? The power of positivity can turn someone’s day right around.
What would this type of behaviour do to you? It’ll make you want to do the same back towards your partner genuinely. The keyword is the “genuinely” part. Unfortunately, there are people out there who would see you fail so they can stop on top of the relationship dynamic.
We all want what’s best for us, so having someone who wants the same thing for you also creates a trusting bond. Seeing them go above and beyond, being willing to make sacrifices, and encouraging you when you’re down is what creates a strong relationship foundation. It’s easier to reciprocate good energy when it’s being shown to you because you will want to give it back since they deserve it too.
Conclusion
“Respect is at the root of love. Be still and know that you don’t have to coax anyone to hold you in high regard. When love is intentional and authentic, there will be no anxiety about reciprocity. Connections meant for you won’t be second-guessed or filled with uncertainty. Free yourself from relationships that leave you feeling insignificant.”
– Alex Elle
Communicating correctly with one another can make or break a relationship. It’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s about coming together to fix a problem that’s hindering both of you. Showing a lack of respect while communicating shows the person’s emotional intelligence level & how inconsiderate they are. We all get frustrated during a fight; being disrespectful or having a lack of communication can ruin an amazing connection.
When it comes to your partner’s mindset, it’s important to hear them out. Open-mindedness in a relationship is key to growing chemistry with one another. We don’t have the answers to everything. So having someone with a different perspective can be healthy and possibly even beneficial for your own growth in maturity. Listening to someone’s view of life shows that you value and respect their opinions.
Setting boundaries early in the relationship is a good thing to practice. Sometimes (unfortunately, I was a victim of this), when you don’t set the boundaries from the beginning, your partner is going to want your full attention. I had a situation where I wanted to take one day off to myself, and it was a problem. My partner at the time was so used to seeing me every day. Didn’t spend much time with family & friends. Life is all about balance. If there’s no balance, one side of the scale will suffer. Yes, your partner is important, but so are family and friends. People who have been there with you during your darkest times. Just remember to spend time with them as well.
Regarding reciprocating energy, it’s easier for someone to be good to you if you are good to them. They’ll believe that you have their best interest at heart, so it will encourage them to be there for you as well. Being around someone who is constantly degrading you will make you feel less motivated to want to support them. Always treat people how you want to be treated. Genuine people who see that you care about them will also go that extra mile with you.
Feel free to comment below on your thought about today’s topic!!